These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)
collected by schools from all over the country.

1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
shot.
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...Baka may rabies...)

3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,
31,32, and also 33.
( Aba grabe to. Nasa kalendaryo pa ang birthday ko kung ganon. Hahaha!)

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
(Ano daw???? )

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin!)

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
(Bwehehehe.. -. la ako masabi... Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat
siya ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya.
Hahaha!!!)

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)

8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
(Aah.....eh. -...i.... .-ow....u. .-..)

9. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)

10. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral.
( Ala e! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)

11. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.
(Stud service ba yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.)

12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!)

13. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela.. -. bow. Makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sa
pansin...)

14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. (Winner to!!!!!!!!!! Ang galing!!!! Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?)